50 Days & Counting

 

Yesterday was Christmas AND 50 days! My first Christmas eve and Christmas day completely alcohol free, in ten years! I did a couple of big things that I knew were big at the time, and later my friend helped me to see why that was so big. 

On Christmas eve, it was my daughter's birthday. We got up early, we had a hard time sleeping the night before, and we had three visitors. By late afternoon, I was feeling tired and overwhelmed. I'm always uncomfortable hosting, mostly because of my ill-mannered/trained dog. I had major PMS. I was also anxious about what we needed to get done on Christmas eve night. Historically, my wine would have helped me relax, gave me a boost of energy, and kept me in the game. Instead, I laced up my shoes and walked my dog during the last hour of daylight. On my daughter's birthday - on Christmas eve - with company. I just knew I had to do that for myself to be able to recharge. It's what I needed to be able to do what I needed to do/be what I needed to be, for the rest of the night. 

We did not sleep well again on Christmas eve. We were up at dawn opening presents. We had Grandma coming over later that afternoon. I was SO tired. Normally, we would have started up with the mimosas right after morning coffee, and kept on going. That would have given me the energy I needed, and kept me mildly relaxed throughout the whole day. But, I don't drink anymore. What did I do? I took a nap - on Christmas day! It did the job, and I felt much better afterwards. 

I shared the amazing feats described above, with my friend who has been sober for two years. She said, "That is a huge reminder of why many people drink...to hide or run away from negative emotions/feelings/situations." I have to remember that I'm not being rude when I need to take care of myself. After my "time-out," I can get back in the game...or call it a night (depending on the situation).