Four Weeks!

Day 1: Easy after the drinking that my husband and I did during the U.S. Presidential election week.

Day 2: The hubby and I went out to dinner without ordering wine. This was just before the restaurants in our area closed again. It was REALLY hard for me when we first sat down. When the waitress came to our table, I reluctantly ordered water instead of sauvignon blanc. We LOVE having drinks at restaurants. I slowly relaxed throughout the meal, and eventually forgot about wine. The kids spent the night at Grandpa's on this night. Normally, we would head home for a night of drinks. Instead, we had a blast snuggled up on the couch watching Schitt's Creek...sober. 

Day 8: First day waking up without a headache/pressure in my head. I blame election week. The kids spent the night at Grandma's. We don't usually get a kid free night two weekends in a row - this was just a magical occurrence. Instead of a drink fueled date at home, my husband made a yummy dinner, and we snuggled up on the couch for another night of Schitt's Creek. 

Day 14: First day waking up before my alarm, and ready to get out of bed. I was excited thinking that this was my new normal. Turns out it was short-lived. The only other time this happened was on day 21. I really like my sleep. 

Day 16: I had my annual performance review at work. I asked for a raise and my request was granted. I also asked for a different position within the company when one becomes available. I felt like my old, confident self again. I had zero desire to celebrate this occasion with alcohol. Even though it took place on a Friday afternoon!

Day 21 (Thanksgiving): Traditionally, I would drink mimosas during the day, and red wine throughout the night. I didn't do either, and I didn't miss the alcohol. It helped that the only other adults were my husband and Mother-in-Law, who were also not drinking. 

Day 22: Took a day trip to a remote outdoor recreation location, where I would normally have a few beers. I focused on enjoying getting out of the house during a pandemic, the beautiful weather, the scenery, and the company (my family). I didn't drink and it wasn't difficult.

Day 23: Tried alcohol free beer and wine - not for me. I'll stick to my sparkling water, coffee and tea. 

Day 24: Inspired by "Quit Lit," I created this blog. I won't publish it until this sober life feels more real. It will feel very real once I tell my Dad. This Daddy's girl does NOT like to disappoint her Dad!

Day 25: Watched a house hunting show. The houses had wet bars, wine fridges, and kegerators. The potential buyers were fantasizing about all the fun parties they could have. I felt jealous. I started to negotiate with myself by saying that alcohol never caused any BIG problems in my life. Maybe I'm overreacting with this whole not drinking forever (maybe) thing. This is when I have to look back at patterns/trends, behaviors, alcohol related thoughts/feelings, and a powerful one for me - how I want to feel when I wake up. I want to do big things in my one life - for me, for my family, and for others. I want my kids to see that you can have fun, celebrate, date, vacation, relax, grieve, etc. - without alcohol. Alcohol holds me back and slows me down (while oddly also making time fly by, in a way that I don't like). I've realized that I used alcohol specifically to slow me down. I'm learning to be able to slow down and rest without alcohol. 

Day 26: Delivered a gift to my friend for her TWO-YEAR sober anniversary! 

What has helped so far: Insane amounts of coffee, tea and sparkling water. Daily dog walks while listening to "Quit Lit" on Audible (My favorites so far: Quit Like a Woman, This Naked Mind, Sober Diaries, Mrs. D is Going Without). Almost nightly bubble baths with my fiction books. My husband doing the first month with me. This Naked Mind community forum, and Reddit's "Stop Drinking" sub-group. 

Hardest parts so far: Searching for Christmas decorations and decorating the tree/house with my husband and kiddos asking me a million questions...sober...with major PMS. I was proud of myself for recognizing my feelings were mostly about PMS and being tired. We had gotten up extra early that day to find our tree, and we didn't start decorating until that night. Alcohol would not have made me feel better in that situation. I was in a much more joyful mood the next day! What is also difficult is thinking about specific places where I've loved having drinks in the past. I remind myself that none of those places are even open right now, and by the time that they are, I'll be even stronger. 

Why I feel like I'm cheating: Due to quarantine, I haven't been tempted by social situations or events. 

Big Deal: My husband and I watching football games without beer!

Most Valuable Takeaways: 1) Hubby and I enjoy each other sober, and don't need alcohol to make our dates feel special or fun. Good thing, because that would be sad and scary if that were not the case. 2) I really don't need alcohol at home. It's just a habitual routine that I've developed to reach for that glass...repeatedly. 

Ready for the next four weeks!