Friends

I ripped the bandaid off all of the way, and told most of my friends. My neighbor's enthusiasm was contagious! She's a very special and kind friend - always down for whatever. She is someone who even though I've drank with countless times (me doing most of the drinking), I knew it would be so easy to hangout with sober, and do sober things. 

I'm in a group chat with my childhood friends. I'm sure anyone who is still friends with a group of people that they grew up with, says that their group is comprised of unique personalities. Ours would be no different. We are all growing and changing in awesome ways, and we are all still the same in some other awesome and comforting ways. Their responses were perfect, and uniquely them. 

I've read a lot of people's sober stories. Some purposefully kept their quitting drinking a secret for as long as they could. That just doesn't work for me. My default is openness and vulnerability. That may sound alarming, but the benefits of those qualities have far outweighed any consequences. I felt like I was floating on a cloud of bliss with everyone's warm responses, and knowing that I had that part over with. Then, I went on a walk. 

I go on at least one long walk a day, at least six days a week (thanks to quarantine). I love it, my dog loves it, it's a win-win. Today on our walk, I started doing the "future tripping" that I try not to do. I had panicky "Oh no!" thoughts. I haven't been to wineries in Napa Valley yet! I haven't drank wine in The Hamptons yet! I haven't drank wine in Italy yet! And worst of all, I haven't drank beer in pubs in Ireland yet!!! These realizations suuuucked. 

With impeccable timing, one of my friends (referred to above) messaged me on my walk. "I had a dream about you. We were hanging out and you showed up wearing all black looking super chic." "Super chic" is not how anyone would describe this low-maintenance gal - LOL. Later, she went on to say that she has never seen me in all black, so she thinks it means amazing changes are coming. So, OK, when I go to each of these places...I'll take the money that I would have spent on all the alcohol, to buy me fancy clothes and accessories. Superficial and materialistic? Yes. Did this thought make me feel better? Yes!