Parents

Adults drinking alcohol was pretty non-existent in my life growing-up. At least as far as I noticed. Nothing like my kids have experienced. Every vacation, neighborhood BBQ, camping trip with friends, restaurant outings, and holidays have included adults (and always their parents) drinking alcohol for my kids. Until now anyway. 

My Dad hasn't drank in I don't know how many decades. We are close, but I don't know exactly when he quit. Perhaps I've never asked, because then it opened up the discussion to my drinking. It was either before I was born, or when I was very little. I do have an early memory of being honored to be asked to fetch his "play beer" (non-alcoholic) from the fridge. I don't know if that was just one night, or multiple nights/weeks/months. I only have one memory of doing that. My understanding is that his parents were alcoholics, as were several Great Aunts and Uncles. I know that one of my Great Aunts was a solid adult in my Dad's life. I don't remember her ever drinking. I don't know if that means that she didn't have a problem with alcohol, or if she just chose not to drink. I don't recall learning much about my Great Grandparents. 

My Mom has never had a problem with alcohol. I recall a handful of times of being extremely disappointed upon realizing that we had Coca-Cola in the house, but that Mom had ruined it by putting rum in it. That memory makes me laugh! I don't remember her sipping on more than one of those drinks per occasion. The other thing that blows my mind is that my Mom and her best friend took me and my friend, on countless beach house getaways. Prior to this "break," if ANY of my girlfriends and I took our kids on a weekend getaway, we would have packed plenty of wine and cocktail makings. I don't recall there ever being any alcohol on these getaways when I was a kid. Holidays were no exception. We gathered with the same family for every holiday growing-up and we still do. Wine wasn't incorporated until my friend and I became adults, and we introduced it to the holiday meals. 

Our family did plenty of socializing throughout my childhood. My Dad is an introvert like me, but my Mom is an extreme extrovert. The adults just talked, played card games, drank coffee and ate pie. Weird (just kidding...kindof)! I really don't know how my Dad did it/does it. Socializing isn't all that fun and comfortable for him anyway, and having to deny himself a substance that might have been calling to him (just assuming, I don't know), takes great strength. My Mom on the other hand, just loves people. She finds them fascinating, and wants to know everything about every person. A new person? Great! She's not shy or uncomfortable. She wants to know every vacation they have ever been on, and every book they have ever read. 

I've been thinking about how my brother and I didn't have parental (or even extended adult-influences) modeling of alcohol use. Social norms and peer pressure were just strong enough to allow the alcohol to creep in, and genetics ensured it stayed. My kids have the genetics, and up until now, constant adult modeling. Nature and Nurture. This is a huge motivating factor for me to keep going.