Dreams

It's very odd when your childhood friends start turning 39. That means that we will start planning 40th birthday celebrations soon. That doesn't seem possible. Some of them I became friends with when we were eleven, others I connected with in high school. We've had decades of fun, and surviving (coping with) hard stuff together. Some of that fun and coping was healthy, some was not. As we near 40, I can no longer deny that the unhealthy stuff has had a long run - particularly for me. I remember a popular birth control commercial from when I was a teen/early 20s. The commercial warned against smoking cigarettes while taking birth control - especially for women over 35. That commercial always gave me relief because 35 was old, and I was nowhere near 35! 

Eventually, as I get closer to really being faced with drinking in social situations (post pandemic), I will look more closely at my reasons for drinking or not drinking. For now, there is one that really sticks out (besides doing what I can to ensure that my kids take our genetics seriously). The fact that I like to drink, and would prefer to have more than one or two, has not interfered with my parenting/jobs/household management/etc. However, I only have one liver, and I'm no longer a "spring chicken." My liver has endured a lot over the past two decades, and the habits that were developed during those formative years. 

If I'm honest with myself (and that's the goal here), I don't want the recommended healthy amount of one or two drinks. It's easier/takes less energy/involves less emotion to decide that I'm not drinking at all, vs. policing myself by allowing only one or two. I want to live a long, healthy and active life. There are so many places that I want to travel to, and we hope to live on a tropical island one day. I of course want to be here for my children and grandchildren (great grandchildren?) for as long as possible. 

I've been reading how more and more women are dying of alcohol related diseases, and at younger ages. Wine has infiltrated Mom groups, play dates, book clubs, school fundraisers, etc. To be frank, I'll be pissed if I die because one of my internal organs fails on me, due to a lifestyle choice or habit I developed as a very young person. I do not love alcohol more than my health, or more than the life-long dreams I plan to manifest.