The Honeymoon is Over

It's down to just me now. In all fairness, hubby was clear all along that he was just taking November off. Originally, that was my plan too. He came home from the store last night with beer and wine for tonight. It's Friday night after all. He got one small bottle of beer and one small bottle of wine. Quantities that clearly convey the message that he knows that I'm not joining him - which I appreciate. We have plans to watch some grown-up Christmas movies and wrap some presents tonight, while the kiddos have a Christmas movie night upstairs.

 In the past, hubby brining home beer or wine when I'm trying not to drink, would make me sad/jealous/grumpy. I don't feel any of those things yet. I almost feel relief to get this first hurdle over with. I actually imagined smelling and drinking wine while on my walk yesterday. I physically shuddered. Not shivered - in a cold or good way. Shuddered - in a cough medicine kind of way. Unfortunately, when I visualize smelling and drinking IPA, it makes my mouth water with desire. Maybe some day, the thought of drinking any alcohol will gross me out. Like egg nog, V8 juice, pop/soda, and pumpkin spice drinks. I have tried so many times to like pumpkin spice drinks. I like the idea of them, but not the real thing! Ooooh, maybe there is something there. Perhaps when I am tempted to drink, I can think of pumpkin spice drinks. I like the idea of drinking alcohol, but not the real (cumulative consequences, family history, example setting) thing. 

I'm so blessed to have a partner who supports me and is proud of me. I can't imagine being able to do this if that were not the case. My heart goes out to all the people that do this completely alone, without support, or even with loved ones who are against them quitting/tell them they don't need to quit. My husband doesn't care if I drink or not. He does care how I FEEL about drinking or not drinking. In the end, it's up to me.