90210

I've listened to all of the quit lit books in my Audible library. I'm not yet due for a credit to purchase another one. It was time to listen to the new 9021OMG podcast with Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth. 

I wouldn't say that I'm a Super Fan compared to others, who have made it their job to know every detail about the show and cast. I am up there though in my borderline unhealthy emotions around the show/cast. So much so, that I've been putting off listening to the podcast because I knew it would make me emotional. 

I started watching 90210 from the beginning when I was in second grade. I was full-blown obsessed by 4th grade. My walls were covered in the posters, I had Dylan glow-in-the-dark boxers, I had Dylan earrings, the calendar, key chains, etc. 

There is no way I'd let my 4th grade daughter watch a show like that, but times were different then. I survived, and turned out pretty well I'd like to think! However, I would say that my body image issues probably if not stemmed from 90210, were greatly exacerbated by the show. Also, my inability to be attracted to guys my own age.

I'm team Brenda and Dylan all the way. I wanted to be Brenda. I wanted Dylan, the twin brother, the house, jack-and-jill bathroom, the wardrobe, etc. In the first episode, her baby-sitting job was cancelled and so she decided to go to the video store and rent Dirty Dancing instead. Baby-sitting, Dirty Dancing - SO me. Yes, by second grade Dirty Dancing was already my favorite movie. 

I'm only three episodes deep into the podcast. Yesterday, was the episode that I was dreading. Tori and Jennie were re-hashing the first episode where Dylan made his entrance. Of course, they had to talk about Luke Perry's passing. I was crying right along with them on my dog walk. My neighbors must have been concerned! 

How does this relate to drinking? 

I wouldn't say that drinking was glorified in 90210, even in the college years. On the podcast, Tori, Jennie and the host of the podcast, drink wine while they reminisce. That would have been a trigger for me during other breaks and contemplations of quitting drinking. Wine is so normalized as an essential part of gathering with and reminiscing with girlfriends. 

The podcast does a good job of making you want to be right there with them, hanging out with your friends from the TV screen, and getting your buzz on while you giggle. I do think it's cool that Tori and Jennie are best friends, and have been since they were teenagers on the show. Of course, that makes you miss your best friends, and connecting with them over wine. 

Except...it doesn't for me anymore. Every time they bring up the wine that they are drinking, I don't feel left out or a longing. I'm excited to see who I have real connections with, and who I really enjoy without alcohol.