Whispers

The urge to drink made an appearance this week. Not strong enough to actually consider it, but slightly more challenging as I start to enter back into the real world. I think of the little urges as whispers. 

I started a new job. I love it! I am very excited about the position I chose, and the company that I work for. However, I went from staying at home with my young kids for 3.5 years (with only very part-time work sprinkled throughout), to working full-time in a brand new industry. With any new job, there is SO much to learn, and your confidence is rocked for awhile. 

I've found myself worried about what I'll say/do when there are drinks involved in future work events. I was also challenged tonight, when my husband asked me if I wanted anything from the store. Friday night...after a week of work. Most of the time I'm immune to this question. Tonight it wasn't as effortless.

I brush off the whispers by reminding myself how much I love the following:

• Great sleep. I am out cold by 10pm on work nights, and I sleep deeply until my alarm goes off.

• Continuous sober days in a row that keep stockpiling. It took a lot of time and effort to get to 106 days. I'd like to experience more milestones, and my first alcohol free birthday in decades.

• Slowing down (or at least not speeding up) the passage of time. My kids are hanging on to their babyness by a thread. 

These are just some of the motivating factors that silence the whispers pretty quickly. I had the urge tonight - my husband is enjoying his drinks - my craving has passed. We are about to snuggle up and watch Virgin River on Netflix. I'm going to get good sleep, and a full weekend that passes at normal speed. Then, I get to go back to a job that I am excited about. A job that I might not have been open to exploring had I stayed stuck in my old ways.