7 Months!

The other night we were laying in bed, and I told my husband that this choice is shifting more from "I can't have it" to "I don't want it." That is true in a way. When I get the nostalgic urge, I think about what it would taste like, what it would feel like, what it would look like hours in, and what it would look like the next day. There is such a heaviness there that I don't want. 

Last night we went out to dinner at a restaurant we've never been to before. When we walked past the tables of all the couples and friend groups with their drinks, I was instantly jealous and sad. We sat down and ordered non-alcoholic drinks at a restaurant with "margarita" in the title - NUTS! The waiter made a joke about hoping we aren't driving. 

By the time we were done with our appetizers, it started to get easier seeing all the drinks being delivered. The food was good and different. We spent WAY less money than we would have had we been ordering margaritas. We went shopping afterwards for new clothes for the hubby. He had some gift cards from Christmas he still hadn't used. If we were drinking at dinner, there is no way would have wanted to go clothes shopping afterwards. We would have wanted to go somewhere else (or home) and drink more. 

The ongoing lesson for me is that the nostalgia/jealousy/desire/uncomfortableness passes. I remind myself that these feelings will pass, and then I'll be glad I made the choice to stay on the path. I look forward to the day when the nostalgic feelings are no longer there. I don't know if that ever goes away for some people. I think it will for me eventually...but time will tell.