Time Will Solve Your Sober Fears

 

When deciding to quit drinking or take a break from alcohol, there are so many unknowns. There is a mixture of excitement and fear in the early days - much like when starting a new diet (don't get me started on Diet Culture). In fact, a lot of people quit drinking just to lose some weight. For many, it's an easy extra to cut out. For me, that was always the thing I tried to get creative with and keep in.

Unknowns are so scary. If you've been drinking for a long time, quitting drinking is especially a mystery. If you're like me, you like to have control in your life. It's hard to have control of the unknown. 

How long will it be hard? What will the occasion or event be like without alcohol? How do I tell my friends I've quit drinking? How do I tell my family? What do I tell random people or neighbors at the BBQ when they offer me a drink? How will I dance at the wedding? What will I tell people at work when we go out for drinks? What will I do at the airport for hours? How do you go on vacation without alcohol? What if my friends and partner won't think I'm fun or want me anymore? 

Again, if you are like me, you want to force the answers and control all of the scenarios. Part of you knows you can't, which makes you try even harder. I'm not saying it is not incredibly important to have a plan. I absolutely think you should brainstorm different responses to questions, have an exit plan when your energy at social events is depleting, create a list of things you could do to fill your time, etc. 

What I am saying is that time is a beautiful gift in sobriety. After a (long?) while, these questions/fears no longer take up your energy and head space. The anxiety of the sober unknown starts to fade away. The positive shifts in your mind and perspective continue to build, and those questions and fears become irrelevant. 

It will be obvious to you why you don't drink, and you won't be embarrassed to share your reasons. You probably have a long list of reasons, and just pick which ever one feels most relevant in a given setting. You will love feeling good so much that you no longer will ask how you are supposed to enjoy your vacation without alcohol. You will want to be fully present and not a let a moment of your precious time in that location (not to mention money) wasted on a hangover. You won't care if you lose a friend or partner because you love yourself, and are finally taking care of yourself.