Birthdays

 

We celebrated three birthdays while my brother was in town. My 40th, our Dad's 74th and my brother's 45th. I know how blessed I am to have had a Dad for 40 years - a great Dad. Children lose their parents, some people never meet their Dads, and others don't have near the special relationship I had my with my Dad. 

Before this cancer rapidly took over his body, he was still a big, strong man who was full of life and hobbies. He did not look or seem like an old man. I really wanted to see my Dad be a cute little old man some day. He certainly wasn't there in his 70s. Even when he died, he didn't look old. I thought for sure we'd be celebrating his birthdays well into his 80s and even 90s. 

40 was an extra special birthday for me. I will forever be grateful that I got to celebrate turning 40 with my Dad. I quit drinking at the age of 38 1/2. Once I started to think that maybe my break from alcohol would be a long-term/permanent thing, I started envisioning what 40 could look like. If I was still sober by the age of 40, it would be a new accepted part of my identity. My "break" would't be seen as a phase. My life will have started to change. It would be the greatest 40th birthday gift I could give to myself and 74th birthday gift to give to my Dad. He got to see the beginning of what will be the best decade of my life. For 40 years, he gave me all the love, strength and guidance I needed to do life without him physically present.